She was only 18 when she signed her first film - Gangster - and from then on there's been no stopping for Kangana Ranaut , who has made a definite mark for herself in Bollywood. She recently gave an interview to Times Of India in which she opens up her heart and gets candid on various memories: Did you always want to be an actress? In my hometown Himachal, we didn't have a single theatre. If someone would get a DVD in the village, we would all circulate it, such was the scene there. It's quite backward and I didn't know half of the actors from the industry then. I knew Preity Zinta because she is from the hills and looks like a fresh apple! When I used to watch films never did I once imagine that someday people would watch me too on the big screen. So how did acting happen? I was a science student and wanted to be a doctor. I used to study for 19 hours a day and secure around 90 per cent. Even in severe winters, I used to get up at 3 am and sit to study. But I failed to clear my pre-medical test and that was a turning point in my life. That's when I decided I didn't want to study anymore and wanted to move out of my house. I wanted my space and freedom so I moved to Delhi and lived there with a friend. But even then, I didn't know what I wanted to do. A modelling agency spotted me and liked me because of my curly hair and lean body. They said they would groom me and send me for shows to Paris. But gradually I felt being a model was as good as being a mannequin and there was no scope for creativity, that's when I took up theatre in Delhi. Do you feel lonely up there? Yes, I do feel lonely. I don't have a single friend in the industry and often feel a vaccum inside. I read a book or do meditation in my spare time. I feel all of us are lonely, we only pretend to be happy. Life is so short and people play so many games. They talk bad about others and don't have a single good thing to say about others. Sometimes I wonder why people waste their lives in such a way.

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